And Here it starts...

I'm not sure I'm even a frantic romantic, but more of a desperate one. The name seemed fitting because all that's been running through my mind is love, crushes, and him. Nobody has any idea how happy I get when I see the nape of his neck from across the room, or spot him slipping quietly through the halls. I'm not sure even he notices that I have to bite my lip in order to hide the incredibly silly schoolgirl grin that threatens to invade my facial features. I've never felt this way about anyone. Sometimes I have to sit down or lean onto something for support because of the most painful and ticklish feeling I get in the pit of my stomach. On occasion, a tear hits the corner of my eye.

It's completely unexplainable. I feel like I'm in love. Actually, I don't even know what love feels like. What I feel is probably what the media has conjured up. But all I know is that I want to hold his hand and walk outside in the rain, lean my head on his shoulder while we're sitting on a park bench complaining about homework, and see his face as he's waiting for me by my locker. And just thinking about it now and writing about it is making my breath hitch and my eyes watery. Like, on the verge of tears watery. I'm not sure what's going on with me anymore.

I'm making a big deal over absolutely nothing. Because the thing is, he barely knows my name. Right, here's the moment when you squint your eyes in confusion. The guy barely knows my name. I'm not sure he'd even remember a girl he went to the same elementary school with years ago. I sure as hell, wouldn't. I barely know anything about him. I've resorted to making up a personality that to me, fits him. Which makes the whole situation seem questionable. I'm probably never going to hold his hand or lean my head on his shoulder. That's the story of my life. But before he finds out that this creepy girl has a crush on him and starts avoiding me...

I'm going to continue to be a frantic romantic.
Because I can't help it. Story of my life.

[Listening to Coldplay's The Scientist on the loop.]